Perceptions….

I made a promise to myself, that I would not watch the Real Housewives of Melbourne. I don’t know why I bothered at all it was an empty promise, since I already watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta, New Jersey and Orange County. I said to myself though, “Aileen you need to draw the line somewhere it has to stop; how good can the Australian version be?”

Well three seasons later I’m hooked, line and SINKER! I will note here to the disgust of my partner.

What I love about all the Real Housewives naturally are the gorgeous clothes, perfect hair and makeup, the dinners and then the great getaways and amazing homes (To die for!). However what really get’s me is how the women are portrayed on the show. With some careful editing, a choice word here or there any of the women can be made to look like an absolute BITCH.

In the last couple of episodes of Season three of Real housewives of Melbourne, Lydia is the choice cut being backed into the corner. She’s made to look like she’s causing trouble, spreading rumours and vicious and malicious gossip. I don’t know if this is the outcome the network wanted but I found myself feeling terrible for Lydia. I wanted to scream to all the women through the T.V f..k off and leave her alone. Poor Lydia, you all spend your time f…ing bitching about each other and now you’re ganging up on her because she has done it (whether accidentally or on purpose.)

How many of you in your day-to-day life have been accused of saying something you didn’t say. Or perhaps you said something but it’s been twisted and it ends up at the other end of the fantasy land and resembles nothing like what you originally said. Or in my case the time where all I did was shake my head as the woman I was talking to starting talking about a woman we both knew and weeks later people kept coming up to me asking me how I could agree with what was being said (Excuse me I didn’t agree to anything all I did was shake my head.)

There is the odd occasion that someone might talk to you about someone you both know and you might talk about them to that person. It’s happened to us all. We’re not trying to hurt that person, or say anything maliciously we have just made a mistake and instead of saying ‘I would rather not say anything if you don’t mind,’ or cut off the conversation right away, we open our mouth and let things we shouldn’t have said come out.

In the last few episodes of the series Jackie who claims she’s a spiritual person, who talks to the Angels and the other side and is all about life shine, shine, shining (Shining out her butt as far as I’m concerned) starts to look like she’s taking things a bit far in her quest to out Lydia and wanting blood. Now obviously we only get to see what networks choose for us to see, so does that mean that the network want to change how we feel about Jackie? If that’s the goal then it’s worked; I looked at her in the last episode and thought to myself ‘your being so nasty, I’m pretty sure your angels wouldn’t be happy with you right now!’ Who knows next season she could redeem herself and I’ll like her again…fickle creatures arent we?

I am a sucker for the Real Housewives; I don’t watch to many other reality shows except for the Kardashian’s (I can hear the tut, tuts of disapproval and disgust, just like my partner.) Do these shows skew our perception of what is normal or what life is like? I don’t think that you could ever say that you would think this way of life is normal. The average person doesn’t go out and spend $150,000 on a piano (that would pay off quarter of my mortage….no jealousy here by the way!) or buy Jimmy Choo’s or Louis Vuitton luggage by the thousands. I also don’t think that my perception of this lifestyle is that because your wealthy you will be bitchy and argue and fight with all your friends. If anything these women should hold themselves at a higher standard and set an example for all the people watching, maybe they should put me on the show I’d be a great role model for these women. Ha ha only joking…..NOT!

Besides all of this though, I love nothing more than seeing what outfits the women are going to wear, where they’re going to go next and who’s going to annihilate who…..I think I have a wee nasty side! As my mum said to me when I sent her my draft to have a quick look-see at “The reality is every woman has an inner bitch waiting to get out and an inner diva just waiting to shine. That’s why we love these shows, so we can imagine ourselves acting out like these women, becoming these women.” These women’s lives are more than likely not perfect, but our perception of their lives from watching the show is that they are. Whatever way you end up looking at it, its great reality T.V that lets your mind dream that you too could have a wardrobe and a lifestyle like that (even if it is only for 50min.)

Oh and I just remembered, no judgement but I also watch don’t be tardy (I wish I knew how to put a little shocked looking emoji here for effect. xx

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He’s just not that….

I can see you finishing the title off in your head ‘He’s just not that into you.’ I first watched this movie when I was much younger and single. The first time I watched the movie I thought to myself, I don’t remember my mum ever telling me that a boy is mean to you when he likes you. I remember running through in my head all the conversations that I had with my girlfriends about boys and even then I don’t remember having them tell me boys are mean to you or ignore you when they like you. There might have been the odd girlfriend here or there that said it, but as a general rule not so much.

So my question to you is this, how right is the portrayal of the story line in this movie? How many of you out there grew up being told all these things about boys/men? I know I can tell you one things for sure when LMM is growing up and coming to me and saying mummy why did that boy push me, or mummy why did that boy say those things to me. I’m going to say because he’s a wee asshole! Honestly I’m only joking but in reality as a mum it would most likely be on the tip of your tongue to want to say something to that effect.

Instead I think I will say that some boys are just mean, but that they also don’t know how to express themselves yet (hopefully) and that as they get older these things usually change (for the most part).

My train of thought on this movie has definitely changed since having a daughter. I found myself thinking about the advice I want to give LMM on dating and relationships, here are a few thoughts:

* Don’t sit by the phone and wait for a man to call you, go out and live your life. It will definitely make you look more interesting than looking desperate as you lunge for the phone.

* Don’t sell yourself short, you have a lot to offer you don’t need to date the first guy that shows a fancy for you.

* Don’t string a guy along it’s not nice, men have feelings too and they too deserve to find someone who actually likes them

* Don’t play games (even if there are guys out there that do, not to look sexist; girls as well do play games, but for the sake of argument lets stick to men for now). If you like a guy call him, if you don’t then don’t call him.

* There are no rules any more, be yourself as long as you’re not hurting anyone.

* Trust your instincts, if you feel like somethings not right, it probably isn’t; but get proof first, you don’t want to look like a psycho!

* There are exceptions to the rule. Married men are out-of-bounds, but I do know women who have had affairs and then lived happily ever after with the other man. You can’t fight love I guess!

* You can’t force someone to marry you. NO one likes pressure or ultimatums. If they want to marry you, or have a baby with you they will. If you can’t accept this move on.

* Don’t analyse things too much… if a guy says he will call and then he doesn’t, f..k him, he’s the one missing out. Or you could call him and just say hi and test out the waters…..men can be shy too you know!

* Be careful with meeting someone over social media or dating sites. This absolutely terrifies me for my daughter when she’s older; especially after that guy on Facebook did that experiment with the young girls to see who would come and meet him after pretending to be a boy.

* Don’t date someone just because of their looks. There’s the scene in the movie where Anna a gorgeous blonde plays a game with Connor (who is madly in lust with her) where you can be two things: cute, sexy, smart or funny. He choses for her sexy and cute. Anna says no one wants to be all in one column, no one wants to just be in the looks column. That’s all he sees with her, just like Ben who has the affair with her. They never talk about her personality, just how hot and sexy she is. Looks fade my friend, there needs to be more going on than a rockin bod and a pretty face.

In the end of the movie Gigi ends up with the guy Alex who has fed her all the advice on men and their stance on dating women. Even though he likes to call himself a player, a no strings attached guy who tells it like it is, he protects her and nurtures her. He likes to call it telling it like it is, or some would say tough love, but honestly deep down from the word go there is something there. He likes her and feels a need to look out for her. Go figure you just can’t judge someone on their actions all the time.

There is so much in this movie that rings true. Dating is a bitch and relationships are hard. What you don’t need is people buttering over things to try and make you feel better. Sometimes a guy doesn’t call you because he’s a prick and he never intended too. Sometimes a man just needs to know that you’re not going to give him an ultimatum or push him into something he’s not ready for…..and then he asks you to marry him! People can be shallow and only want someone for their looks. In the end we all have to find our own way to get the relationship we want and all we can hope is that we have people in our corner giving us good and true advice and that we come out on top and end up with a WINNER!!

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