Memories

Recently I’ve thought a lot about memories; memories from my child hood and teenage years and from now. Here’s a thought for you though: How many memories from your childhood or teenage years do you remember clearly, like they just happened yesterday? As in you really remember the memory, not just something that one of your relatives have told you over and over and now it feels like your memory, and not a memory from a photo. A genuine memory that you remember vividly.

I’ll be honest with you a lot of my memories from when I was a child/teenager are very hazy which started to concern me as it made me realise that I was obviously pushing on in years and my brain was sifting out old memories to make room for new ones. I started to wander, does that mean that the older I get the memories from my youth are slowly going to start slipping away? In years to come only being remembered through family and photos taken along the way? What a sad notion.

I was reading an article about the significance that memories play in our lives: The article was all about how the memories we have and are able to recall are critical to how we think of ourselves, autobiographical memory is of fundamental significance for how we see ourselves, how we tap into our emotions and think of our experiences now and in the future.

Which got me thinking to the types of memories that we have: Such as memories that we store in the back our minds, memories that we put into little boxes and throw away the key, hopefully never seen or heard from again.

There are definitely memories that I think I have purposely not remembered clearly if at all, I’ve let them go a little hazy or can’t remember events at all (and no that’s not called a bottle of Tequila and a few Jager bombs). Perhaps as a defence mechanism to soldier on through another day. To protect the soft inner core of myself while I try to appear tough and strong on the outside.

Then there are those memories that we used to remember clearly but now we only remember a smell or a song, or a feeling associated with a memory. I have a few memories from late primary and high school where I remember a smell or a song vividly but only remember a small part of the memory attached. One such example is when I was in grade 5, I went on a date with a boy from the boys school he was a lovely boy cute, kind and funny and nervous as hell when we went to the movies. He was sweating so much that all I could smell as he tried to hold my hand was oatmeal hand soap. To this day I can remember that smell, but I couldn’t tell you what movie we went to see or what even happened on the rest of the date.

Then there are memories that we will never forget etched into our soul forever, brought to the surface at a moments recall.

One such memory for me was the day I found out I was pregnant. I could tell you what I was wearing, what I said as I rang my aunty on the phone sobbing uncontrollably to the point that all my aunty could understand was pregnant and even then I think she was guessing! As I stood at work holding the pregnancy test in my hand looking for my friend Beth and ending up with her husband Ben to double-check the little lines on my pregnancy test (No offence Ben!). I remember shaking all over not knowing if it was real, thinking that I was in a dream…….8 pregnancy tests and a blood test later and I finally believed it was real.

Since I’ve had my daughter I’ve definitely been trying harder to remember events from the past so when LMM asks me: Gee mum don’t you remember being a teenager…..as she’s just been caught sneaking out the house with a face full of makeup on and no clothes on….ok barely no clothes on. I can remember back to the time I went night-clubbing with my best friend at 18 wearing come f….k me boots (don’t judge that’s what they we called them back then),fish net stockings a tight black leather skirt and a low-cut top and say yes dear I do…..but your still grounded 🙂

Ah the joy of every day events that will one day be called a memory. Lets make all our memories count, live each day to create a wonderful memory and make sure you have people to share them with….you never know one day you might need them to remind you of one of them!