At precisely 5.09am this morning the 27th April 2016 my daughter LMM had an EPIC tantrum.

I’ve been told by many that it will happen; my aunts, mum and grandmas have told me the stories, friends have told me stories and the women at LMM’s daycare have told me stories. All the stories are of children having a meltdown over the silliest things imaginable you wouldn’t even rate it as being true…..An urban myth so to speak.

I’ve heard the tails of children melting down over the wrong bowl being given to them for breakfast, or they don’t like the way you brushed their hair or even just for looking in their general direction! 

It’s not that I didn’t believe the stories I’d been told; I have two younger brothers and I’ve seen my fair share of hissy fits. The reality is whether by choice or design (so that you procreate) you get a bit hazy on how bad it is.

Well, this morning I was catapulted back to reality with an all mighty WALLOP! Figuratively speaking of course, LMM isn’t big enough yet to batter her mummy!

I brought her into bed with me after my partner had gone to work as she woke up and wanted a bottle. I went to put her down like so many other times and BAAMM!!!! It started; a scream so piercing and so loud the actors from Scream would look like amateurs compared to my daughter. Then in the midst of the screaming there was the pillow moving, bottle throwing, dummy chucking and head shaking (cue an image of  the girl from the Exorcist…..minus the vomit!).

In between this there were moments of calmness and there were tears; and  while I was in utter shock and honestly had no idea how to handle this melodrama that was unfolding in front of me I had a moment.

A moment where I was in LMM’s head and the characters of Inside Out were controlling her emotions as they do in the movie. Anger had definitely played his part at the beginning, disgust had also played her hand as LMM threw the offending pillow out of her sight, sadness was playing out in front of me in that moment. Then I smiled (note here I didn’t say laugh, I was still in too much shock and disbelief to do that) because I realised that not only is that movie scarily funny and true but there was a light at the end of the tunnel and her name was JOY!

After 35 min it stopped and my daughter sobbed herself back to sleep. I prayed the neighbours didn’t think I was torturing LMM and I thanked the universe for giving me the strength to get through the ordeal without losing my patience or temper. 

LMM woke up as bright and chipper as always as if nothing had happened and all I could think as I smiled and laughed at her beautiful smile was thank you JOY!  xx

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Gone are the days where my partner and I go out for a nice dinner, get dressed up, have a few drinks and finish off a lovely meal with my clothes stain free.

Yes you read that correctly I can no longer go out for a meal and come home stain free. Tonight is a classic example of stain envy for me. We’ve only been at dinner for 45 min when LMM gets salsa dip all over me, mashed in there with a wee bit of guacamole (after all you can’t have salsa without guacamole!).

As I go between the booth we are sitting at and the amazing play area they have for the kids I find myself checking out the tops of all the women walking past to see if they too have evidence of their children on them somewhere. Alas I’m alone, destined to trek the messy mothers clothes club solo. I find myself enviously looking at the mothers with clean clothes and quietly wishing I hadn’t decided to wear my pale blue denim and my white stripped top. I keep searching hoping to find someone in the same predicament as me, where we can nod and smile at each other telepathically say ‘it’s ok, don’t be embarrassed about your big salsa/soft serve stain, your still looking great!’.

Wow who am I kidding that’s as bad as my daydream where I win billions of dollars and marry Leonardo De Caprio, Chris Hemsworth or the new guy that plays superman. Lovely in my dreams but as likely to happen as me going out and having a stain free night.

Having a child has definitely given me perspective on perfection and beauty. Or really what I perceived to be perfection and beauty. Before LMM I was fixated, everything had to be perfect all the time; my hair, my clothes, my make up and so forth. Making sure that all these things were what I thought to be perfect helped me feel in control and beautiful.

Now I can 98% of the time genuinely say that when I do see a woman who looks perfect and stain free I’m ok with that, and I think to myself you look so pretty; good for you. Then I look at the happy smiling face of my daughter and I say to myself ‘it’s ok that your clothes are messier than your child at dinner time and that your hair now has some soft serve and what looks like could be a bit of tomato from the salsa in it.’ Then I put my jacket on, cover my stains where I can and then I lift my head high and confidently smile at people as I walk by.

Praying that there’s no chocolate on my butt that I couldn’t see and my partner didn’t think to mention as I walked on in front of him… Yes this has happened before, yeah I know right unbelievable! xxx

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Mummy’s Style!

I’ve always loved fashion, ever since I saw my mum dance around the house in the 80’s with a brown velvet cat suit on, to the song ‘it’s raining men’.

I used to love putting on all my mum’s clothe’s and her high heels and pretend I was a mother myself with a baby off to work. Then I would change and I would be kissing my baby goodnight while me and “David or Anthony” (always my two choices for husbands names) went out some where glamorous and my mum being my mum always had some beautiful gown for me to try on and admire in the mirror.

As I grow up my love for fashion never wavered, although my aunt loves telling me about the grandma phase I went through where I loved the old cardigan! I worked in Cosmetics from the time I was 18 and I would have all my pay spent on the beautiful clothe’s and cosmetics at Myer or David Jones before my pay check came in. I still wore my mum’s clothe’s but now I wore them out the house. Sometimes there was a piece I would covet and my mum loving me how she did would always let me have it. I always wondered if my mum knew how much I loved her for that even though there was always that small part of me that felt guilty about the strength of her love for me and how there was always a small half-hearted fight from her end before she said ‘go on you can have it’.

My mum’s always been very eclectic when it comes to clothe’s and sometimes I would tease her and call her eccentric. Like the time she bought powder pink, green and gold tapestry jeans and wore it with a lace shirt and matching lace boots (later I loved those jeans but could never admit that to my mum after I teased her so terribly about the outfit). The truth is it’s because of my mum that I have the love of fashion I do and the same size wardrobe she does. We both hate throwing clothes out, but I am definitely better at it than she is.

My mum’s the one that taught me to look after my clothes, Dry clean those that need dry cleaned, hand wash those that need hand washed try to buy yourself some good quality staples and your clothes will stand the test of time. She also taught me not to be afraid and experiment. While I’m definitely not always as confident to experiment as my mum I definitely am not afraid to mix things up a little try something others might not.

When I say this I am talking about my pre motherhood days. I would totally glam it up going out all the time wearing sexy high hells, a gorgeous outfit and the accessories to match. Nowadays I have a much more casual approach to fashion. Don’t get my wrong when the need arises I can still bring it in the fashion stakes, but day-to-day I’m a more denim and t-shirt girl with flats or tracksuits and runners.
The one thing I hope to teach LMM is, no matter what you should leave the house looking nice. It doesn’t cost a lot to leave the house looking your best; don’t forget op shops are always in fashion and there are so many beautiful stores now that are affordable for most people H&M being a prime example or Tempt is another. All the girls in my family are like that. No matter how they are feeling on the inside they always make the effort to look good on the outside. That came from my grandma we weren’t allowed to leave the house until we all looked nice as how we looked was a direct representation of my grandma.

Fashion is a way to let people know who you are or where you are in your life as it changes. Today my fashion sense is much more simple and colour neutral I want to be able to chase my daughter round the park if I need to or sit on the floor with her at daycare while she has her last five minutes play time.
Do I miss the days where I wore gorgeous costumes jewellery and gorgeous little outfits with heels and a full face of make up and my hair was super gorgeous and together all the time? Not as much as I thought I would. It means its all the more exciting for me when I do get to go out.

While my look may be uber casual these days I still love the fashion magazines and keeping up on trends…..You know just in case the need arises for me to Glam it up and very soon LMM might be asking me for fashion advise and I need to stay on point for when that day arises! xxcasual 4
casual 7

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Best Intentions

Before I had LMM I had all the best intentions, and for the most part I’d say I’ve definitely ticked all my best intention boxes…….NOT!!

There are some I’ve definitely stayed on track with like:

* Loving LMM every second of every day
* Making her smile every morning when she wakes up
* Giving her lots of hugs and kisses each day
* Making her laugh and smile as much as possible thru out the day
* Being there for her when she’s sick or under the weather and doing
everything possible to make her feel better

Then there are the best intentions I haven’t kept like:

* Letting LMM sleep in bed with Mummy and Daddy
* Making all homemade meals for LMM
* Not letting my sweet cherub eat any naughty food

Let me be clear though, I’ve tried very hard to follow through with these epic failures but following through with all your best intentions is hard. Especially when your child has just been sick with one thing after another and in between that she’s been teething and had surgery.

The one thing that I’ve learnt over the past 18 months is don’t be to hard on yourself if you can’t always do everything you want to do on your best intention list for your child.

When they’ve been sick for long periods of time like LMM has, you get to a point where you just want them to eat, you’ve cooked the homemade soups, made the macaroni and cheese from scratch, made stir fry’s, Chow Mein’s the list of foods you’ve tried to make homemade and healthy are endless.

In the end you just want to put something into their little tummies you’ll even resort to packet Mac and cheese, arrow biscuits, custard and apple pie. ANYTHING just so there’s something going into they’re little bellies.

It breaks your heart to see them nibbling on little bits or doing nothing but drinking water or their bottle. You throw your best intentions out the window and you try anything, even if it’s not homemade or its on your naughty list (Insert Mc Donald’s McNuggets and chips here, which by the way she hated and didn’t eat).

This brings me to my last best intention epic failure; sleeping in the bed with Mummy and Daddy. I’ve got nothing to say about this one except sometimes mummy just needs to sleep and its hard to do that when your child can’t breath with the cold or a chest infection, has hand foot and mouth and is crying all night, is teething and is up all night or has just had surgery and is in constant pain.

Sometimes for the sake of LMM so that I’m making sure I nurture her, making sure I’m giving her 110% and for the sake of mummy so she doesn’t have to get out of bed every fifteen minutes, there’s nothing wrong with having your child in the bed with you. I had to stop feeling guilty. This was easier to do with the more parents I spoke to who said sometimes mum and dad just need sleep and we bring our kids (note here multiple children) into bed with us.

So there is is, while I strive each and every day to fulfill all my best intentions that I set out for myself when it comes to LMM there are days when its ok to give yourself a break. Go easy on yourself, in the end as long as LMM is being loved, nurtured and looked after in the best possible way that’s all she needs and a bite of a Mars Bar isn’t going to do any harm either! xx

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