Once upon a time back in the day’s when the only person I had to care for was myself I was an extremely organised person. Everyone got a birthday card and present on time, I called my family and friends more than once every three months, my house was clean and tidy, everything on my to do list got done in a timely manner and I was extremely well-groomed and presented.
Fast forward to today and I buy birthday cards and presents weeks ahead of time; yet sometimes they make it a day or two late, on occasion they are a couple of weeks late or months later I find the birthday card somewhere that I don’t remember putting it; so obviously someone didn’t receive their birthday card (apologies to whoever that is by the way.)
When it comes to phoning family and friends well it’s not that I don’t want to talk to them but by the time I’ve gotten up, dressed, fed and organised LMM and I for the day and fed the dog, we are leaving for daycare. Once I’m at work my day is crazy and I don’t stop until I leave to go home where I race home at 4.30pm to cook dinner as it’s easier to do it without a little appendage hanging from one of my limbs. Then it’s 5.15pm time to pick up my shadow. We come home, eat dinner, shower, get into jammies, read a book and then it’s bottle time and asleep by 8.30pm – sometimes, dare I say it 9pm!!!! I blink and my day is gone I haven’t had a chance to call anyone, returned any missed calls or most of the time responded to messages. Two or three months go by and i finally speak to someone lest they forget about me – I’m sorry, Aileen who? I don’t know anyone by that name!
Now when it comes to my house – back in days gone by I was almost OCD. My house was so clean and tidy. Everything had a home, every cupboard was spotless and neat, my DVD’s where in alphabetical order, clothes colour coordinated and so on and so forth. My home at all times could have been used as a display home not a thing was out-of-place. Well that ship has sailed, and it has sunk like the titanic to the bottom of the ocean. Perhaps I am over exaggerating a little. I have a cleaner come in once a fortnight so at least I know my house is clean. Tidy, well the rooms we don’t use are spotless at all times (lol) Our bedroom, the laundry, the kitchen and the living room get a tidy once a week usually on a Sunday. Any OCD tendencies I had are gone as is my alphabeticalised DVD collection!
I admire the women out there that work, have a family of more than one child and still keep a clean house and who have dinners pre made for the week and who are organised. I mean that sincerely and with the slightest bit of envy.
My to do list is getting so long I would at this point need to hire a personal assistant just to help me get back on track. Each day something gets added to my to do list and each week i may if I’m really lucky cross one thing of it. By the time I deal with LMM who takes up 60%- 70% of my time, work, groceries, attending to the needs of the house hold there isn’t enough time for my to do list let alone time to do anything for myself.
So I guess you can imagine what I’m going to say next. There isn’t time any more for the way I used to look after myself. No more facials, no more hair masks, I am maintained enough on the outside so as not to frighten people away.
I’ve been thinking a lot about time recently; how I need more time in the day, the week and the year, what am i doing with my time? How can i better use my time? What great things will I accomplish with the time I have left? At the rate I’m going will I accomplish great things with my life?????
I’m hoping that as LMM gets a little bit older and doesn’t want to be near her mummy at all times I might get back to resembling that organised woman again. But then I had someone say to me “It just gets worse as they get older, play dates, dancing, swimming, school sports, parties…..Well, I don’t really have anything to add to that one, maybe when my daughter turns 18 I’ll start to resemble the organised woman I once was – I hate to see what my to do list will look like by then! xx