Ever since LMM was at an age where she could communicate with me I’ve given her choices; nothing crazy just little things like: Do you want a big bottle or a little bottle? Do you want it hot or cold? What fruit would you like to buy?…You get the idea. My partner used to say to ‘me why do you give her choices?’ She’s a child just give her what she’s going to get.
Here’s the thing though, 2 years on and her daddy is now saying wow she really knows what she want’s and I can’t believe how easily she makes decisions. I think that is so amazing Aileen.
The thing is, as much as I love that my daughter is strong and independent and is able to tell me exactly what she wants there are times that it makes my life difficult….Like in the morning when I’m trying to get us ready for work and daycare. On these days I turn away and hold my breath and say “Aileen, you created this little girl, you gave her the freedom to make choices and know what she wants…now suck it up and get on with it.”
Easier said than done when your little munchkin loves to sleep in till 8-8.30 and your meant to leave for work/daycare at 9.30. LMM get’s up announces that she wants a bottle for breakfast, can she please watch cartoons but wants you to pause the cartoons so she can come with you while you get her the said bottle.
Fast forward to half and hour later, you’ve got yourself dressed and bags packed and ready to go but madam Magoo wants to-put her own socks on, and her own undies, and her own pants oh and she also wants to brush her own hair and teeth and don’t forget my vitamins mum. These are the mornings that I think… what have I created. To be honest even then that’s not really true, any other time of the day I have not a problem that she wants to do everything herself. I’ve alway encouraged LMM to learn to do things and try to do things herself.
But oh how the mornings are the bane of my existence!!!
Other than that though I’ve purposely given LMM choices and I’ve always shown her how to do anything that she shows an interest in learning. Why? Well, first because my mum always did the same with me and secondly because LMM has the capacity to learn and make choices. I’m hoping that as she grows up she can make her own decisions and not be swayed by peer group pressure or other people around her. She can stand confidently by her convictions and her choices and say NO when she doesn’t want to do something.
I like that LMM asks me “can I do that?” or “show me mummy?” I also love that when I give her a choice she confidently tells me what she wants. I hope that as the years go on she grows into a confident young woman that doesn’t need to rely on anyone else to make decisions or choices for her, or can make the choice between right or wrong because she’s been given the opportunity to have a voice that is valued and heard and her decisions are respected.
In the meantime I wish there was a little pause button for days I need to get to work on time xx