Judgy Eyes – First used to describe one of the woman on Real Housewives of Orange County – Currently being used to describe the older woman down at my local shopping centre – Judging me with her judgy eyes!
Once a week LMM and I do the weekly shop, either on a Thursday or a Sunday. On these days we indulge in a bit of badness with either some Fit Chips or a Banana Smoothie and a Hot Dog from Wendy’s. Being the typical 19month old that LMM is I like to do this and sit on one of the benches as it’s easier to let her run around and not sitting in a café where she usually wiggles and worms about.
Sitting on our chosen bench and eating and drinking our Wendy’s and having a bit of a giggle while we’re at it, I see an older couple walk by, the woman looks at LMM and I and as she turns to her husband with her Judgy Eyes she says ‘That’s terrible that little girl is far to young to be eating that.’
I like to think that over the years I have learnt not to judge people and I definitely would say that since I’ve had my daughter I am even better than I was before, so I have little tolerance for people who can make a judgement on you and your child or family on the very small snippet that they get to see while you’re sitting on a bench in a shopping centre eating a hotdog and drinking a banana smoothie.
What this woman doesn’t know as she’s passing judgement on me and my daughter from her self-appointed role as judge and jury is that my daughter has an exceptionally well-balanced diet and everything she eats is home-made and always has been since her first home-made oats and fruit purée. Or that I’ve even started making my own snacks and biscuits so I know what LMM is eating (there have been times recently when LMM has been really sick and I have ended up feeding her anything I can get her to eat, but they are special instances and not the norm in our household.) This woman doesn’t know that my daughters daycare has a great chef who cooks nutritionally balanced meals all made fresh that day and planned out so that each food group is covered.
This woman doesn’t know that my daughter is loved more than anything else in this world, that’s she’s well taken care of and spoilt rotten. She doesn’t know that LMM has a mummy that spends hours keeping her mind stimulated with arts and crafts, play doh, colouring-in, painting, reading , singing songs, playing shop, playing with her babies going to Gymbaroo, swimming and very soon dancing. She doesn’t know that her daddy takes her to the park and plays ball with her and her puppy and sings row row row your boat on what seems like a loop (by the by, I hate row row row your boat now and I wish that boat would do me a solid and sink already!)
I’m just lucky this woman isn’t at my grandmas house or aunt’s house to witness LMM eating chocolate biscuits or ice-cream (isn’t that what grandmas and aunt’s are for to let the kids eat the things we won’t let them?) when we visit once every couple of months I may be locked up and the key thrown away.
More luck to my mother that this woman wasn’t at my birthday parties as a child as they would consist of fairy bread, party pies, sausage rolls, chips, lollies, cake, ice cream and the pièce de résistance lolly bags. Sunday night was the night when my dad would fill up the cars and he would always come home with our chosen treat. If you looked at this and passed judgement you would think all we ate was crap. The reality however was that my mum used to make fresh and healthy home-made meals, she would make her own bread, her own ice cream and we had a great diet.
So to the woman with the Judgy Eyes and misplaced and ignorant comment (even if it was just to your husband) please refrain from taking it upon yourself to comment on what I’m feeding my daughter. You have no idea what goes on in my house-hold and you cannot judge or comment when all you’re seeing is a snapshot of my daughters daily food in-take or our life in fact. Perhaps if fewer people took it upon themselves to comment or judge others parents wouldn’t feel the pressure they do today to always look like they’re doing the right thing. Parenting is hard enough without the JUDGY EYES and side comments so keep them to yourself or wait till you get home and have your say then xx