Parenting – Viking Vs 2016

I’ve just finished watching the four seasons of Vikings. I honestly never thought I’d like this series (it’s to bloody for me I’m afraid) but my mum and a friend from work both said watch it you’ll get hooked……. Well I did – love it to bits.

But it’s got me thinking; thinking about the way parenting has changed since the Viking days. The Vikings for all their brutality couldn’t have gotten it all wrong, were still here after all! Now, life was tough back then most children didn’t survive past the age of five and if they got to five they were lucky to see 20. If I was a Viking mother I’d be considered a fossil ready for replacement with a newer and sexier Viking version (Look, if it’s going to happen at least replace me with the hot and sexy Lagertha, now she’s a fine specimen of a Viking mother!)

If we compared children being brought up back then to how they are now, the Viking race would have social services called on them. Certainly no one would read their blogs if they had one – after all no one wants to read a blog from a Viking who shags in front of the children, leaves the kids with anyone who will take them and feeds them the same thing day in and day out. There’s just no good parenting advise there. Come on though surely they got a few things right that we could learn from?

Back in the day, Vikings were either at home or sailing the oceans to find new lands to plunder and pillage; so families were either in a boat together, living in a makeshift tent or in the cramped family home. Now to have sex there was no choice; they just got on with it… Wamb bamb thank you Viking man! Today if your really lucky one of the kiddies will have snapped a real nasty shoot of dad’s butt in the air with his hands over mum’s boobies for modesty posted onto Snap Chat or Instagram, it would wind up on facebook and the next thing you know Child Protection would be on your doorstep and everyone on social media would have a comment to make. Parents today are always talking about there not being enough sex in the relationship or that there’s not enough time or the old “I haven’t had time for a wax scenario” – Let’s face it though men don’t really care so I think it’s safe to say today’s man still has a little “Viking” left in him. Perhaps we should just be grabbing the Viking by the beard so to speak and go for it, even if the kids are in the other room watching sponge bob square pants and you haven’t put it into your calendar.

Right back to the Viking children who as it happens were left with aunt’s, uncle’s, neighbour’s for months or even years. Parents did what they had to do to get on. Yet children lived and grow into self-sufficient adults knowing where they belonged and they had a wider, larger family network: In 2016 mum’s feel guilty leaving their child at daycare to go to work, or at a family member’s house to go have their hair done or just to have me time. In Viking times it was called survival and it wasn’t uncommon practice to look after other’s children. Today however you’re neglecting your child if you’re not thinking about them or with them 24/7.

Viking children learnt to fight from a young age, or they were helping mum in the home or dad on the farm; they did because they had to there was no choice or negotiating… Children in 2016 are allergic to house work and want compensation in the form of luxury goods or money for performing tasks that they should be doing any way. Quick call a social worker I’m using my child for slave labour…. I got LMM to put her apple core in the bin (insert shock horror here.)

Back in the day of the Viking you had a diet of fish, any meat that could be killed and the crudest of vegetables – there was no choice, no alternative and no media portraying to mum’s that they’re not doing the best by their children if their meals aren’t gluten free, dairy free, preservative free, organic and free range.’ Viking children were lucky to have enough to eat, unlike our fussier, more spoilt 2016 counterparts that think it’s ok to let mum and dad do some negotiating here as well…..’Ok mum I’ll see your pot roast and I’ll raise you a nut fudge sunday,’ – Viking child ‘I don’t want to eat this,’ Viking parent – whack over the head of said child and a nice short ‘eat now.’ – Yes Sir!

Look don’t get me wrong I certainly wouldn’t want to live back in the Viking days… Although the men seem a lot taller and manly than some of today’s men who just love their skinny jeans and moisturiser (Only joking honest, nothing wrong with a bit of moisturiser.) I think the reality is we should all give ourselves and others a break. Let people parent and get on with their jobs of raising amazing little humans. We should all stop being so critical and judgemental of ourselves and others and lets face it we can be. We could just try and leave the kids with the in-laws once in a while, have more sex, give our kids some chores and food, well let’s stop stressing about what they are not eating and just be thankful they are eating. Maybe we should all try and find our “Inner Viking.”

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